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A Father's Wish For His Son's Coach "A Father's Wish" was published in 1979 by Reader's Digest. An unpublished response was also written in 1979 by Ross Mounsteven, who was then a coach. Although written years ago for a son it still applies to daughters and very little seems to have changed since that time. A FATHER'S WISH Dear Coach : Tomorrow morning my son starts hockey. He's going to step out on the ice, and his great adventure that will probably include joys and disappointments begins. So I wish you would tabke him by his young hand and teach him the things he will have to know. Teach him to respect the referee and that his judgement is final. Teach him not to hate his competitors, but to admire their skill. Teach him it is just as important to be a playmaker and get an assist as it is to score a goal. Teach him to play as a team and never be selfish. Teach him never to blame his goaltender when a goal is scored against him, because five mistakes were made before the puck got to the goalie. Teach him that winning is not everything, but trying to win is. Teach him it is far more honourable to lose than it is to cheat. Teach him to be a competitor. Teach him to close his ears to the howling mob and to stand up for himself if he is right. Teach him gently but don't coddle him, because only the test of fire makes fine steel. This is a big order, Coach, and I place my son in your hands. See what you can do for him. He is such a nice little fellow. His Dad. A COACH'S RESPONSE Dear Dad: As in so many situations. It was interesting to read your note in Reader's Digest. It seems so often that after the newspaper, league executives, and all your friends and neighbours, the coach finds out, second hand, how you feel. It's a delight to see you emphasize the teaching aspect of my role as coach. I agree wholeheartedly, but have you ever tried to teach someone who wants to shoot two more pucks before he joins the team when I've blown my whistle, or, having joined the team, is more interested in knocking the skates out from under his teammates, or wants to talk to his neighbour while I'm trying to teach a point? How do I teach respect for authority to a boy who listens to parents scream at a referee, curse a policeman, or complain about bosses and politicians? How do I teach admiration or skills to a boy who watches professionals grab, trip and fight, and then hears parents yelling "Hit", "Grab Him", or "Kill" from the stands? How do I teach play-making to a boy who is paid by parents or relatives for each goal he scores, or is told he is the best, and not to waste his passes on others? How do I teach a boy tolerance of the mistakes of others, including goaltenders, when all of our society stresses perfection, and he is constantly reminded of his success and his "Good plays", his "super passes", his "Great checks", and nobody points out his own fallibility? How do I teach honour and fairness to a boy who watches his loved ones ease over the speed limit, drink booze in the stands, or keep the extra dollar that a store clerk gives by mistake? I agree that the test of fire makes steel, that he must stand up for himself if what he feels is right, that trying is more important than winning. But that is LIFE, not just a hockey game! You asked me to make your son into a man... and I can't do that. I can only teach him a set of skills, called hockey, that will fit into the principles of life that he, and you live by. The respect for authority, admiration for the skills of others, co-operation, tolerance, honour, integrity, and self respect have to come to the arena with him. Then and only then, can I teach him to play hockey the way you and I think it should be played. Your son's coach.
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| Last Updated on Monday, 23 February 2009 13:11 |
